Coming Home... Or Not (Tak)

[Amakusa Takehiro]

"FUCK YOU, SWORD MAN!"

Takehiro whirled around, roaring, and launched his spear at sword man's dick. He then proceeded to tackle the guy, punching his face in over and over. "Get your swords and get the fuck out of here! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU EVEN SAYING!" A late reaction to his otherworldly language Takehiro had never heard before.

[Morei Haji]

"PINCHE CHINO!!!" The sword man would shout in agony as Tak's spear met his crotch, before Tak began to beat the crap out of him. I only watched in a mixture of both amusement and horror as Takehiro became the most violent man I had ever seen. But after what we had been through, it made a lot of sense.

"IF YOU DON'T STOP I WILL UNLEASH MY NINTH SWORD!" He shouted between fists to the face. "TAKEHIRO! GET OFF OF HIM, QUICKLY! THAT SOUNDS BAD!" I shouted urgently.

[Amakusa Takehiro]

Takehiro abruptly stood up at the mention of the ninth sword, which he figured was a euphemism for the guy's dick. Letting out an intimidating roar, the mercenary picked the guy up by his throat, spun around and whirled him at the crotch men like they were bowling pins. Bowling doesn't exist yet though.

"You all can take your silly business somewhere else!"

I can bet you a dollar you've never heard someone say "silly" as fierce as Takehiro just did.

[Morei Haji]

The man crash landed into the samurai penis duo, collapsing in a heap on the ground. As they groaned in pain on the floor, I walked up besides Takehiro, in awe at just how dangerous this guy could be. I was happy I was on his side.

"So, uh... what's a dollar?" I asked, the question popping into my head for no reason at all.

[Amakusa Takehiro]

Takehiro cocked a brow at Haji, seemingly no longer upset. He just had no idea what the kid brought up. Dollar? What was that, some sort of black magic ritual?

"Where did you even hear that, kid?"

Was he high? Was he a cultist? Takehiro couldn't be friends with a cultist.

"I can't be friends with a cultist."

[Morei Haji]

"I don't know... it just popped into my head. Like someone implanted the thought in me. Sometimes I feel like I'm not in control of my own actions."

I felt as though my every action was being written by someone else. As though at any moment, my life could change drastically because someone felt like it. I didn't like that feeling at all, but maybe they were writing me to not like it.

"Wha... where did you get cultist from?"

[Amakusa Takehiro]

Takehiro looked long and hard huhuh at Haji, then he turned to look at the burned barrel filled with opium residue... Did HAJI burn that shit? Was he still high? Was all of this because of HIM?!

"Are you still high, buddy?"

He didn't let his suspicion get in the way of anything. These two literally just went through hell together, which meant they were going to be good comrades. There was no point in ruining that because of drugs.

"Because what the fuck is a dollar?"

[Morei Haji]

"It sounds like some kind of foreign currency..."

I scratched my head. Imagery of trees being cut into green slips of paper flashed through my mind, but I had no idea why. What was this opium?

"I think I can see... the future..."

[Amakusa Takehiro]

Haji would feel a very warm hand print left on his cheek. Why? Takehiro bitch-slapped that motherfucker. What the hell was he talking about? Dollars and seeing the future?! There were some things that didn't make sense, even with all the shit they just went through. If the kid was going crazy, Takehiro would stop it right now if he could make a difference!

"PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, MAN!"

[Morei Haji]

Takehiro's slap would knock me back into reality, and I began to blink, confused. My cheek hurt like a bitch, but everything felt so... weird.

"I... where the hell are we?"

I looked around, witnessing all the carnage around us as I rubbed my cheek.

[Amakusa Takehiro]

Haji would feel another burn on the side of his face, seeing as Takehiro slapped his other cheek to even out the what-the-fuck Haji must have been feeling. The kid seemed to have barely been making a recovery from the effects of the drug, and that was bad. If he ended up being stuck in its hold, there was no telling what could happen. He could kill himself, for all Takehiro knew.

"Haji, listen, we need to return these goods to Owari."

[Morei Haji]

"AH! WHY THE HELL DO YOU KEEP SLAPPING ME?!"

Takehiro's constant slapping was giving me more of a headache than anything. I was already back to reality! So what the hell?! I rubbed my other cheek now, the stinging in my cheek burning hot.

"I... kind of don't want to go back near those goods."

[Amakusa Takehiro]

"BECAUSE YOU'RE SPOUTING SOME WEIRD SHIT, MAN!"

Who the hell went on about seeing the future and shit? That was some mystic crap, and Haji was the furthest thing from a priest. Well, Tak was, but Haji wasn't really a priest either.

"If we don't get that stuff back, we could get killed. Just remember that. Maybe that pink-tunic guy was a sign of what would happen if we tried to run away with the stuff. We're getting another chance at LIFE, here!"

[Morei Haji]

"T-the pink-tunic guy..."

My eyes widened in fear. That was probably the scariest shit I'd seen in my entire life. Takehiro was right, what if that man was some kind of legendary assassin? That could've been Fuma Kotaro of the Hojo clan! He let us live with a warning!

"No, no, no! Not Kotaro! I want to live!" I shouted as I ran back to the carriage.

[Amakusa Takehiro]

"Isn't Kotaro... with the Hojo?" And Owari meant Oda. So Haji was really tripping some serious balls. But, Takehiro didn't entirely mind anymore. He just wanted to get the shit taken care of, so he hopped back onto the cart right after Haji did. "Thanks for being our wheel, friend!" He shouted heartily back at the merchant before taking off down the road. The cart ride was bumpy, considering how uneven things were with one wood wheel and one made of flesh.

"I swear, the pay for this better be worth everything we went through."

[Morei Haji]

"I don't think any amount of pay could erase this from my memories."

I sat there as the carriage moved, wide-eyed from the shit I had seen thus far. The merchant was crying with every single step he took forward, but right now he needed to just deal with it.

"JUST DEAL WITH IT!" I would turn to scream at the human wheel.

[Amakusa Takehiro]

"YOU DID THIS TO US!"

Takehiro screamed back at the merchant, who began to cry even louder than before. But, really, it was kind of his fault they were like this in the first place. The bastard put them through a really bad opium trip, so it made sense, right? They were fucking crazy. Now he knew how the daimyo felt about their daughters being on the stuff.

They would pass through the gates into the city relatively unharmed. The guards simply watched in awe of the carriage with the makeshift wheel.

"Well, buddy, we're in Owari..."

[Morei Haji]

"Owari... I'm home... home sweet home..."

I looked around, feeling a sort of happy feeling looking around at my home village. At the same time, part of me just really didn't want to be here. I didn't have to stay long, at least.

"Where should we drop the merchandise off?"

[Amakusa Takehiro]

"It's not all Lord Nobunaga's, but I'm sure he'll know what to do with it." Hopefully he wouldn't kill them for bringing him possessed goods. "Hopefully he won't kill us for bringing him possessed goods..."

Takehiro would guide the carriage through the town, and a lot of people just stopped to stare, as if it wasn't normal to use a merchant as a wheel.

"What are these people, uncivilized?"

[Morei Haji]

Well, of course they'd be staring. It's not normal to use a human as a wheel.

"It's not normal to use a human as a wheel."

That said, were we supposed to find Nobunaga in a random hut or something? He was the Daimyo of the Oda army, why would he still be living in Owari? The encampment was a bit further off, unless we randomly ran into him or something.

A guy would walk by Takehiro, staring angrily. "Your face is uncivilized."