Coming Home... Or Not (Tak)

[Morei Haji]

Maybe that's what Takehiro was doing. He saved the Daimyo from a fate worse than death, only to cast it upon himself instead. Only a true hero would undergo such odds, putting his very sanity at risk to help someone he barely knew. That must've been it! He was just too stubborn to admit it!

"Takehiro... you're a hero." I said, looking at him now. I knew he would understand that I could see into his heart.

Suddenly, I saw out of the corner of my eye a blur travelling towards me. "I SAID HEY!" was all I heard before I got kicked in the face, falling off of the carriage, I looked over rubbing my head in pain and trying to regain my composure. There was a man in a pink tunic and weird blonde hair, and he turned towards Takehiro immediately after.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" he shouted in a horribly high pitched voice, aiming his fist for Takehiro's face with unheard of speed.

[Amakusa Takehiro]

Takehiro barely had time to react to Haji's remark before the boy was kicked off the carriage by some strange man. His eyes followed Haji, much to his own peril. His cheek was met with the iron fist of a pink-clad warrior, launching him off the carriage and into the dirt, where he would skid along face-first and end up next to his partner.

"... what's... goin' on..?"

His hands pushed against the dirt, struggling to bring himself off the ground. How much force was behind that punch?! Were they doomed?!

And why did Haji call him a hero?!

That thought sent Takehiro back into action. He would do what only a hero could: standing back to his feet, the mercenary charged the pink-clad warrior, hopping at the carriage that conveniently stopped once Takehiro fell off and tackling the man into the seats.

[Morei Haji]

"OH MY GOD DO I TRY"

The pink-clad warrior would swiftly knock Takehiro off of him, standing up on the carriage and reaching to the sky.

"I TRY ALL THE TIME"

He leapt into the air, and with his arms extended, he seemed to just... start to glide away.

"JUST KEEP IT INSIDE... AND LEARN HOW TO HIDE... YOUR FEelings......"

His voice drifted away with him, and I just sat there, staring at him.

"I... don't know how much more of this I can take..."

[Amakusa Takehiro]

Takehiro laid on the carriage, also staring up at the man. He was completely unaware of what was going on. These things... these people... they all seemed so unreal.

"We didn't end up using that opium, did we?"

If they were high, this all made sense. That would explain the flog, the flying guys, the over-the-top shit they've seen and experienced. If not, then, well... maybe it was time to just have a good cry, and accept that your life just fucking sucked.

"I wanna go home."

[Morei Haji]

I managed to crawl back onto the carriage, still rubbing my head from where I was struck. Something just felt so weird about today. Takehiro brought up a valid point about the opium, but... we were both experiencing these things. What was real life? What was fantasy?

"Home is where the heart is."

Or some crap like that, but I did feel the same way. If this was to be the life of a wanderer, then I felt I'd rather stay in Owari.

[Amakusa Takehiro]

"That is some..." Takehiro just paused for a moment, sounding like he got cut off. But he was really just thinking about what Valo said. Maybe it had some truth to it? "Fuckin'... pussy shit."

He looked up at the kid, laughing. Was he serious? There was no real way of knowing. His laugh was genuine, but he did sound kind of like a dick when he spoke.

"What're we gonna face next? A giant dragon that walks on two legs and terrorizes all of Japan?"

[Morei Haji]

[[ You called me Valo... xD WRONG BOARD, MAN. ]]

Before I could speak, I heard a nerve-wrecking roar from above us. Hesitantly, I looked upwards, seeing a giant... something, flying above us before crash landing in a clearing directly where we were headed. It stood up on two legs and expanded its wings to their full length, turning around to look directly at us.

"... I fucking hate you right now."

[Amakusa Takehiro]

[OoC: HABIT.]

Takehiro's didn't bother getting up. His head fell back to the carriage as the creature roared overhead, and he let out the longest exasperated sigh you've ever heard in your damn life. It was as if he'd given up all hope. If he was to die here... so be it. He would go down in history as the single man to perish at the hands of a dragon during the period of the warring states.

"You think it'll see us if we don't move?"

Legitimate question.

Kind of.

[Morei Haji]

I, and even the horse, heard Takehiro's question and took it to mind, as the horse had suddenly stopped moving and stood completely still. It had this look on its face and seemed as as ready to get the hell out of here as we were.

The dragon looked at our direction for a moment before turning around. Maybe it's vision was based on movement? Or... maybe it was just mooning us like an asshole.

[Amakusa Takehiro]

"I can't see what it's doing. What is it doing."

He kind of saw the thing turn around, but he didn't move to look. He didn't move at all. He just laid there, thinking about how many different ways his life could end tonight. If not by the hand of the dragon, then by who? What? At what cost would their moment of survival come?

"Fuck you, you dragon piece of shit!" he roared, suddenly gaining the courage to stand to his feet again. If he was going to die, he'd face his death like a warrior.

[Morei Haji]

At Takehiro's angry roar, the dragon turned around with a shocked expression, letting out a sort of yelp. It began to run away, screaming like a terrified dog as the earth shook around us at every step it took until it was completely out of sight...

"W-what... did you just shout the dragon away?" I asked, puzzled. Suddenly, a bunch of people came out of nowhere, surrounding our carriage. They all began to bow to Takehiro, chanting.

"All hail the Dragonborn... All hail the Dragonborn..."

[Amakusa Takehiro]

Takehiro's eyes widened. Did that really work? The dragon was just... sinking away, like nothing? Such little effort and it just went bye-bye. That was unusual, to say the least. And what the hell is a Dragonborn?

"What the hell is a Dragonborn?"

Seriously. He turned to look at the gathering crowd, confused.

[Morei Haji]

One man approached Takehiro, speaking in an accent I had never heard of. In fact, he looked foreign, they all did... so why were they speaking Japanese?

"The Dragonborn is a man of legend who could defeat dragons with a single shout and absorb their souls." He began to bow again.

I looked at them all confusingly, scratching the back of my head. "Takehiro, can we just go home already...?"

[Amakusa Takehiro]

"Uh."

Uh.

"What?"

What?

What the hell were these people talking about?! Takehiro facepalmed, turning back to Haji and boarding the carriage. Shit kept getting worse and worse, and he no longer wanted to deal with it. Whatever was in this carriage was not worth losing their sanity over!

"Let's, uh... let's return this carriage to Owari, then. These people are freaking me out."

[Morei Haji]

"That's a mighty fine idea and all, Takehiro, but, uh... well..."

I looked upon the direction back to Owari, and... there was no direction back to Owari. The road behind us had suddenly just disappeared! The only way was forward at this point. Our path had been overwritten with some gaping black void, and I was far too afraid to touch it.

"What the hell's going on...?"

[Amakusa Takehiro]

Takehiro turned back to observe the dark void, and his eyes widened. As if in terror, the horse shrieked and charged forward, pushing through the crowd and proceeding down the path wildly, leaving the mercenary to hold on for dear life. He screamed, himself, as it seemed the horse drawing the carriage was growing horns from its freaking forehead!

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"

[Morei Haji]

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! I WANNA GO HOME!"

I screamed as the demon horse from Hell began to charge forward, holding onto the carriage with all of my strength. It felt as if the smallest lapse in my grip would send me flying off of the carriage. And suddenly, the horse sprouted wings and took to the air, and we were now flying with it!

[Amakusa Takehiro]

The moment the horse went airborne, Takehiro shrieked like a small child. His spear fell from his grip and to the ground, and he almost jumped off to catch it. That could have been really bad, though.

"I'M SORRY I GOT YOU INTO THIS, KID! I'M SO SORRY!"

Every second that passed, it seemed the horse was drawing closer and closer to the sun. Was this it, then? Were they to die at the hands of Amaterasu? What did they do to deserve this?!

[Morei Haji]

"IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! I SHOULD'VE JUST LET YOU GET THE BOUNTY!"

We really were approaching the sun. We were going to die in a literal blaze of glory, and there was nothing we could do about it. I never thought I would be seeing the light at this young of an age. There was so much I wanted to do!

Suddenly, as we neared the light, we were suddenly engulfed in it... and next thing I knew, we were laying on the ground. No void, no demon horse, no dragons or worshippers, just me and Tak and our weapons.

"What... happened?"

[Amakusa Takehiro]

Rubbing his head, the mercenary quickly sat upright. But that was a mistake, as a headache quickly shot through him and he fell back to the ground. Everything was blurry, and nothing made sense. He was terribly thirsty, to boot.

"Where's the..."

There was no demon horse, no dark void. They were still... in the village? And next to them was a barrel, burned to a damn crisp. And then it all made sense.

They were high off the damn opium.

[Morei Haji]

I felt like I could eat a horse right now, I was unexplainably hungry. I rubbed my eyes and tried to take a look around, but everything seemed out of orientation.

"Huh... why is the merchant under the carriage where the wheel we put on should be...?"

The man was scared, and looked like someone had tried to bind him there in place of the wheel. The broken wheel was on the ground next to him, but no other wheel was in sight...

"... Did we...?"

[Amakusa Takehiro]

Takehiro's eyes fell on the merchant, and his jaw dropped. So, they never even got a damn wheel on the carriage?! They tied this guy to it instead?! WELL WHO BURNED THE DAMN OPIUM, THEN?! "Did we do this to you?" He nodded, scared. Takehiro just shook his head... holy crap, that was somethin' else.

"You didn't see any fucking, dragons, or dark voids? Or flying guys in pink tunics? NOTHING?!"

[Morei Haji]

The merchant seemed to break down in tears at Takehiro's aggressive persistence, it was probably the mention of the flying pink tunic warrior. I scratched my head, getting up from the ground and reattaching my weapon to my side.

I was about to speak when suddenly, I heard a booming laugh behind me. And I turned around, hesitantly, to see the first customers we had before standing before us. Only, they were wearing nothing but the samurai penis armor from before, and it was a disgusting sight.

"SO YOU FOOLS HAVE FINALLY AWOKEN! NOW YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE WHO REFUSE TO SELL US WHAT WE WANT!"

My face may have been the same exact one I was making in my avatar.

[Amakusa Takehiro]

Takehiro's face fell into his palm. How much of that whole thing was real?! The crotch-guard guys were, yes, but what about every other unspeakable horror? Just how much of that was opium-induced?!

"Listen, you little fucks," Takehiro got to his feet, walking toward the crotch guys. "You don't know the shit I've seen today alone. I got my ass beat by a flying fucker in a pink tunic. I scared a dragon away with just my voice. My horse became a demon and flew into the motherfucking sun. And here you want to scare me with your fucking dicks?" He drew his spear, striking at the crotch guards, and it would leave dents in them from how forceful he was.

"I WANT! TO GO! HOME!"

[Morei Haji]

I was about ready to try and stop Takehiro from beating the hell out of these guys' junks, but... they definitely deserved it for the hell we just went through. I wanted to bash these guys' crotches in myself, but I felt like if I touched them I'd be contaminated with some guy of weird disease.

All of a sudden, from behind them a man jumped out from the bushes, wielding four blades in each hand. "MI NOMBRE ES SENOR OCHO GARRAS!"