Regret (Masahiro)

[Morei Haji]

I rode as fast as I could on my demon chariot. Even if it caused a lot of eyes to stare, it was a lot faster than any horse I could get in such a hurry. I had received news of a large scale bandit attack on a village and that the village was overrun. What made it worse, is I knew that that was the village that Masahiro had been staying in.

"Damn it, I have to get there faster!"

We had gone off to go our own ways for a while, but never did I expect for him to meet with such a fate. I didn't even know if he was alive. If he was injured, it was because I wasn't there to watch his back. At least I would've been able to get him out of that situation, at least, that's what I was telling myself right now.

Arriving at the village, I leapt off of the chariot as it faded away into nothingness, landing on my feet and taking off into a sprint. The place was a huge mess, and there were a lot of bodies lining the floors, and a lot of injured people. I looked around frantically, not finding any sign of Masahiro anywhere.

"MASAHIRO-SAN! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

I ran deeper in, past everyone. I wanted to help all of them, but could I do anything at all? Right now, I had to find my friend. I had to make sure he was alive.

"You better not die..."

[Yuy Masahiro™]

This village… it was just supposed to be a stop over on my way to bigger and better things. But for the last month… I’ve been wasting my time here. This village was the place of my first defeat. I had defeated the bandits yes… but at no small loss of life. It was… pathetic. I let fathers, mothers, sons, daughters die because I wasn’t strong enough to take down the enemy on my own. The villagers tried helping me and died because of it. It was my fault.



I sat in the tavern. My wounds were bandaged up. I was pretty banged up. I had been working all day. The only reason I wasn’t out there still rebuilding this village was because the villagers refused to allow me to help anymore. They thought if I kept going I would die of exhaustion… They were worried about me… and they were probably right.



A bowl of rice and some chicken laid before me on the table I sat at. They wanted to make sure their hero was well fed… I hadn’t touched the food. What kind of Hero was I? I could hear someone shouting for me. I couldn’t make out the words exactly. I guess one of the villager’s probably told him that I was in the tavern because I could hear the voice getting closer. I didn’t know if it was an enemy or not… None the less I had no time to find out. I lifted up my katana from my side and walked out the front of the tavern, with my left hand on my sheathe, ready to draw my sword at a moment’s notice. I was surprised at who it was.



“Haji..?”

[Morei Haji]

A villager had directed me in the direction of the tavern, and quickly I ran towards it, still calling out for Masahiro. Before I could come inside, I was greeted with a figure approaching me first, and I skidded to a halt.

"M... Masahiro... You're alive!"

I took a step towards him, he definitely looked like he had seen better days. A tinge of regret had filled me as I looked upon him, and I looked to the ground, clenching my fists.

"I'm sorry... If only I was there to watch your back, maybe this wouldn't have..."

[Yuy Masahiro™]

"Forget it..."

I turned around to return to the inn. I didn't have the strength... or the courage to face him now. The last time he and I had fought side by side. It was thrilling... fighting alongside him was the most excitement I had ever had. I had never felt that alive. But now... I just felt hollow. For the first time I had thought about calling someone friend... and now instead I couldn't even stand the thought of looking at him. God dammit... I was so pathetic. I hated myself for it. All I could do was sit back down at my seat and pick up my cup of sake again. Dammit... To be this kind of person... I just... UGH! But at the same time... I couldn't stop...

[Morei Haji]

"...Look at me."

I would walk up to Masahiro as he turned around, placing my hand on his shoulder. I couldn't stand to see him like this. He was the last person I ever expected to just give up like this. When I first started my journey, he was the one to chastise me for my ways, how I fought, what I believed in. Now it was my turn to open his eyes.

"Someone I love... she almost died. She was tortured and I wasn't there for her... I thought of just giving up too. But what you told me before... you were right."

I had killed them, Katsumi's tormentors. Did I dwell on it? Pretty much every single day, I never stopped thinking about the weight it placed on my shoulders, or the scar that was on my stomach. I didn't stop thinking about how bloodied and broken Katsumi was that night, or how desperate I was to save her despite how much I was bleeding.

"I'm not letting you give up."

[Yuy Masahiro™]

"What. That it's easy to kill someone? Tell me something I don't know."

I took the bottle of sake. At this time I didn't even bother to keep up appearances and pour it into a sake cup. Instead I took the entire bottle to my mouth and taking a deep swig of it. I needed this to get through the time that I couldn't be out fixing this village. There should be no rest till I was done... but unfortunately the village forced me to rest.

"Haji. You're a little too late for that. I gave up a long time ago."

[Morei Haji]

"..."

I would knock that bottle of sake out of his hand, grabbing him by the collar and lifting him so he could look me in the eyes. My fist clenched tightly around his clothing, I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Do you even hear yourself?! This isn't the same Masahiro I met! You can't just pity yourself like this! You're not the only one who almost lost everything!" I would push him back onto his seat, looking down at him. "How is someone going to envision a future for the people if he can't even envision a future for himself?"

[Yuy Masahiro™]

"Almost..?"

A white flash of light went through my eyes as I felt rage overcoming myself... Almost lost everything? ALMOST LOST EVERYTHING?! I grabbed his wrist tightly with my left hand as my right shot out to grab his collar as well pulling him in closer.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ALMOST?! I HAVE LOST EVERYTHING HAJI! MY PARENTS! MY SIBLINGS! HELL MY ENTIRE CLAN WAS KILLED WHILE I COULD DO NOTHING BUT FLEE! I HID FOR YEARS OUT WEST! I COME BACK AND I CAN'T EVEN PROTECT ONE VILLAGE?! THEN TELL ME! WHAT THE HELL HAVE WAS I TRAINED FOR?! WHAT THE HELL HAVE I BEEN FIGHTING FOR HAJI?! BECAUSE IT SURE AS HELL FEELS LIKE NOTHING!"

[Morei Haji]

My eyes widened as I heard what Masahiro said. His life was tragic, but even so... my grip would tighten as I stared back at him, not averting my gaze.

"My mother was murdered too! And the same night, my brothers disappeared, never to be found again! I don't even know who killed them! I know what loss is! But I'm not going to dishonor my mother's memory by giving up! Do you really want to bring shame to their memory by allowing yourself to be weak?!" I would push back against him, stepping forward as I did so. "Or are you going to get stronger so that others don't suffer the same fate? How can you allow yourself to rest knowing that the people who took your family away are still out there?!"

[Yuy Masahiro™]

My eyes widened as he spoke. Haji had never told me about his life like this before. He was right dammit... I couldn't wallow here in self pity. Instead... for some reason it just made me angrier. I let go of his wrist and his collar.

"Who are you calling weak? Haji if you don't let go of me I'll show you just how weak I am."

[Morei Haji]

I stared at Masahiro for a moment, finally letting him go. He was frustrating, but I did not plan on getting into a fight with him, especially when he had his wounds already that he needed to recover from.

"Don't let yourself down, Masahiro. You're better than this."

[Yuy Masahiro™]

"I know..."

My hair covered my face as I spoke, my voice low. Quickly and without warning, my right fist shot out at Haji's left cheek, hoping to knock him down from the blow. How dare he come in here and judge me?! Did he not know I was a Yuy?! It pissed me off.

"That's for calling me weak earlier."