Takeda Keita

[extinction]

Name: Takeda Keita

Faction: Takeda

Ethnicity: Japanese

Age: 20

Gender: Male

Height: 5'11

Weight: 165 lbs

Eye Color: Blue (replacing his eye color in picture)

Hair Color: Light Brown

Appearance

Personality:

Keita is friendly in all but has his own goals due to his past with his best friend betraying him when they were kids, all he does is train to improve his skills with his trusty halberd and fight for the Takeda Family. When it comes to stronger opponents he will try to take them on theirselves seeing that he loves the thrill of a good fight no matter how strong the enemy. When people he care about is in danger he will swoop in to help them in battle and go against the odds. Keita is a really generous guy and a romantic when it comes to the ladies and drinks once in a while in his free time.

History:

At the age of 5 Keita trained with his family in the use of different weapons and hand to hand combat, his most used weapon he was naturally good with was his father's Halberd. Once a week Keita would train with his best friend in the open fields improving those skills and reactions. At the age of 12 Keita and his friend Kaito went into the field like they usually do to train but then something felt different to Keita as the training started it felt like his friend was actually trying to fight and kill him. Several moments later seeing that Kaito couldn't barely hit Keita he then told him, "You know you always were the goodie good shoes of your family but there is no rules when it comes to fighting because cheating is everything." With that said Kaito whistles into the open air almost like he was giving a signal and as he stopped Keita said to his friend Kaito, "Why are you trying to kill me for we're just training, what's got into you...?" Before Keita could look behind him he just felt a sharp pain from behind him and as he turned his head as he was falling he seen a masked man only showing eyes and the outfit was that of a bandits and before Keita went unconscious Kaito walked up to him saying "You still got lot to learn i was never friends with you i was just son of a father who is a bandit and is better than you and your family." With Keita's last glimpse he see's Kaito walking away with the bandit into the woods as he passes out on the ground. Several Days later he awakens with bandages around him in some type of house and see's nothing but herbs  and lit fireplace and some cups on a table next to him, as he tries to get up he feels the pain in his back as he is slowly trying to get out the bed and when he then looks he see's someone looking out the window and the mysterious man tells him, "You should rest you need to heal."Knowing the man was right he then rests for a bit more.

Next day they venture off into the woods as the man then throws Keita his Halberd that was left behind the day he found him on the ground bleeding out. He then says to Keita, "I'm taking you into the Takeda faction, but just know once i get you in there you will be going through training to improve your halberd skills more seeing that i havent seen you fight since you were younger." Keita then doesn't say nothing and just nods and with that they both walk into the Takeda stronghold and as months pass and then a few years passed Keita started saving Kids from bandits and helping out people while still searching for Kaito the friend that betrayed him.

Stats

Strength: 14 (19) (+2 w/Halberd)

Dexterity: 12

Constitution: 10  (+10 while mounted)

Wisdom: 7

Spirit: 7

Inventory:

Slot	Item(s)
Weapons
Primary	Royal Halberd-Double-Edge Cross Voulges: This large halberd of a weapon, once belonged to Keita's father. It has seen many battles and is of aged but okay quality. +2 Str while striking.
Secondary
Back
Legs
Head
Helmet/Bandana
Mask
Earrings
Torso
Chestplate
Shoulders
Necklace
Kimono
Arms
Arms
Gauntlets
Rings
Legs
Hakama
Belt
Greaves
Boots
Miscellaneous
-
-
-
-
Stored

Bio Approval Phrase: Admin Edit.

[Takeda Shingen]

1. His eye color requires an explanation in the history, since red eyes aren't exactly common in Ancient Japan.

2. You say he is a trained killer, but nowhere in his bio does it explain how he even became one in the first place. Please provide an explanation of how he became one in the first place.

3. If possible, please expand on his personality. He's a loner and doesn't trust anyone, but is slowly learning to trust people, what caused him to become distrustful in the first place?

4. How did Keita become part of the Takeda faction? Please explain how he even came upon the faction, as well as expanding on his past. "His family was killed, his dead mother was raped, and Keita snapped and attacked the bandit that was raping her." That doesn't tell us very much about him, at all. The Takeda faction, like all other factions, isn't just going to take in every person that shows up at their doorstep into the army.

5. You've shortchanged yourself two stat points. New characters all start out with base 50 EXP, so add two points to any of the five stat categories.

6. You are allowed only ONE two-handed weapon, OR TWO one-handed weapons. Since you gave Keita a cross spear, edit this weapon into the item table and remove the inventory text at the very top of your bio sheet:

[b]Jumonji Yari:[/b] At least it tries to be one. It's like a spear with two other blades on it, kinda making a cross shape. The idea is cool, but this is, uh. Well. +2 Str

7. You are missing the bio approval phrase, which is located in the rules thread, and you cannot cheat and look at other bios, because the phrase IS NOT "Admin Edit."

I cannot, in good conscience, approve your bio, not until you fix everything I stated above.

[extinction]

Okay i Edited my character hopefully its better.

[Tokugawa Ieyasu]

You haven't followed the instructions of in the above post. Spefically these ones. 

1. If possible, please expand on his personality. He's a loner and doesn't trust anyone, but is slowly learning to trust people, what caused him to become distrustful in the first place?

2. You've shortchanged yourself two stat points. New characters all start out with base 50 EXP, so add two points to any of the five stat categories. If you do not wish these two stat points, add a line listing Unused EXP under your characters stats. This along with character stats MUST be in character mini profile beside their posts. You currently have random numbers there. 

3. You are allowed only ONE two-handed weapon, OR TWO one-handed weapons. Since you gave Keita a cross spear, edit this weapon into the item table and remove the inventory text at the very top of your bio sheet:


[b]Jumonji Yari:[/b] At least it tries to be one. It's like a spear with two other blades on it, kinda making a cross shape. The idea is cool, but this is, uh. Well. +2 Str
If you do not want the item designed above you are welcome to select weapons from the Starting Weapons thread in the Character Sheet section. As above you may have ONE two-handed weapon, or TWO one-handed weapons from this list. 

4. A personal opinion  is that many multiply colours make looking at the bio to read harsh on the eyes. This isn't required but suggested you change for ease of reading. 

---

No member of staff will approve this bio until you fix the issues you have been instructed to do so. 

--

Also a long history isn't a bad thing, you message stating that this is why you kept yours short is unneeded. 

[extinction]

i changed his personality lol and his history so the first one is irrelevant

[Tokugawa Ieyasu]

Alright I think that I can finally say it but

APPROVED

Just remember to add your character STATS into the section of their profile or your character signature. These can be found by clicking on your name, going to where it says edit and finding the correct sections to change them.