Shin-ak K. Westin the man of Wolfs

[shinakawolf]

Name: Westin, Shin-ka kyotozaki.
Prefered name: Shin
Faction: Date
Ethnicity: half Japanese half European
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Height: medium built at 5’11 height
Weight: about an average of 176
Eye Color: a grayish blue color of eyes
Hair Color: natural hair color is silver the reason being is his father’s family had a hereditary hair pigmentation.
Appearance: he has a more white colored skin then most people who are living in Japan. He has short styled hair with a bit of a spike going on in the back. He wears his father’s old European silver breast plate and gauntlets. He also wears white slacked down pants with a black cloth wrapped around his legs below the knee cap to keep the pants from tripping him up in battle. He also as a black belt that has two sword sheaths. And he wears a black cloth over his back being kept on by a small yellow rope around his neck and two metal shoulder guards.
(Here is a picture so you can understand it better)


Personality: shin is a loner he will mostly be silent as he tries to think about what kind of path he needs to take in life but while he is in battle he is a very smart strategist and that is why he will be very cocky within battle. Sadly he doesn’t really have many friends and when he is around an enemy he will always try and take down any enemy or get helpful information by spying, this war has shin feeling like it is needed because without this war Japan would never become a strong nation

History: his mother was living near the oceans border when his father was push onto the shore line because his ship was bomb barded by pirates. They lived happily together when he was about to the age of 12 my father taught him how to many styles of sword fighting from three different European cultures. He was an amazing father, until the past finally came back to haunt him. European people came through his house doors and rampaged it to the group killing his mother and beating shin’s father for questions but he said nothing so they burnt our house down and him with it while they left me alive to see all this. That was how shin because a distant person and full of regret but while he walked through the ashes of his old home he saw a hole in the ground leading to where his father hide everything about his past and homeland. After that he dreadful night he trained day and night to become a warrior training in martial arts Japanese sword fighting, mastering what his father taught him and also learning about the group his father was in. it was a European group of celestial wolf summoner’s and also holy grail seekers this group would use its wolfs to try and hunt down the holy grail with no luck at all. At the age of 24 he was finally able to find some clues on his father’s killers he heard of one staying in a city close by. He took no hesitation in finding him, getting all the answers he needed. He is still young and still learning how this group could actually get the wolf to come out of its cross. At the age of 26 he joined the Date faction he loved the idea of Date masumune and what he fought for and the way he treated his army as his own extended family. This gave shin hope for his war binding home of Japan.

Stats

Strength: 15
Dexterity:10
Constitution:10
Wisdom:10
Spirit:5

Inventory:
Slot Item(s)
Weapons One one-handed European sword

Primary Foreigner's Blade: This blade hails from Europe! Some country in Europe, not sure which. We just know it's foreign! +2 Str
Secondary -------------------------
Back -------------------------
Legs -------------------------
Head -------------------------
Helmet/Bandana -------------------------
Mask -------------------------
Earrings -------------------------
Torso Good Luck Charm: Meant to protect you in battle. Add on Item: Can be worn in any slot along with another item. +1 Spr
Chestplate -------------------------
Necklace Good Luck Charm: Meant to protect you in battle. Add on Item: Can be worn in any slot along with another item. +1 Wis
Kimono -------------------------
Arms -------------------------
Arms -------------------------
Gauntlets -------------------------
Rings -------------------------
Legs -------------------------
Hakama -------------------------
Belt Good Luck Charm: Meant to protect you in battle. Add on Item: Can be worn in any slot along with another item. +1 Str +1 Dex
Greaves -------------------------
Boots -------------------------
Miscellaneous -------------------------
- Onigiri: A rice ball wrapped in seaweed. Heals all minor wounds obtained in current thread. +5 Con for 5 posts. Only thing that stacks is the posts. Up to three in a stack.
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Stored -------------------------



Bio Approval Phrase: Admin Edit.

Proficiency: Fitness - D
Leadership-(D)

[Oda Nobunaga]

Alright, a few issues here. I'll start with the simplest first.

1) No bio approval phrase is listed in your bio. Without that, your bio can and will not be approved, because having it in your bio is a sign that you've read through the rules.

2) The personality segment isn't really a questionnaire. The stuff in there isn't meant to be answered right after the questions are asked, they're there to give you an idea of what to write about. The way you have the personality set up is kind of hard to read, mainly due to the lack of punctuation aside from the question marks in the template.

3) Kinda need an explanation on at least the strange hair color, as the eyes make sense with his heritage.

4) The history is a little out-there, and while that's not the main problem (there are quite a few out-there histories on this board) one big'un is that you switch from third- and first-person several times throughout it. The whole wolf-calling thing, you can say he's mastered it but it's something you won't really be able to utilize until you actually earn it IC, if it's something you're planning on using.

5) Your inventory has a LOT of problems with it. You start out with either a) two one-hand weapons, or b) one two-hand weapon. That's it. If you want a custom starter, PM me and I'll make you one, but not one of the items you have in your inventory is okay. Starter weapons give +2 or +3 stats tops, and here you have +24~ items that came out of nowhere. Those need to be removed.

When the changes have been made, PM me and I'll take another look at this.

[Oda Nobunaga]

Looks better now. Put your stats in your sig and you're good to go.

APPROVED